Ah, the glorious world of beer league hockey. It’s where our NHL dreams live on, even if the only things we’re icing are our aching joints the next day. But while the NHL stars are notorious for their crisp passes and lightning-quick goals, there’s one thing beer leaguers notoriously outdo them in – the art of the marathon shift.
You know the type. The player who steps onto the ice, and you can grab a drink, chat with your buddy, check your phone, re-lace your skates, and they’re still out there. If only they had that kind of endurance in the gym or on a treadmill. But, alas, the rink is their domain, and they’re milking every second of it.
Now, in the NHL, the average shift length hovers around a minute. That’s 60 seconds for those who need a refresher. It’s a window that offers players just enough time to dazzle with their skill and then quickly retreat to the bench for a well-deserved breather.
But then you have the legends of beer league. The audacious skaters who see that 60-second mark and chuckle to themselves, “That’s cute.” Five minutes? Just a warm-up. They’re doing laps, they’re taking shots, they’re, well, mostly gasping for air and becoming a human pylon, but they’re committed!
Let’s delve into the psyche of these over-enthusiastic rink-hoggers:
1. The Denier: “Was that really 5 minutes? Felt like 30 seconds to me!”
Sure, Jan. If 30 seconds in our world equals 5 minutes in the alternate universe where you rule the ice.
2. The Strategist: They’ll claim they’re staying out to “tire the other team out.” It’s all part of the master plan. Ignore the fact that they’re equally tiring their own team out.
3. The Forgetful: “Oh, was I supposed to come off? My bad!” They might genuinely forget. Or perhaps their selective memory kicks in every time they’re on the ice.
4. The Optimist: “I was just about to score!” Sure you were, buddy. Right after that fifth missed shot on goal.
Now, as comical as these extended shifts are, they’re a testament to the passion and joy players find in the game. Beer league hockey is, after all, for fun. But let’s spare a thought (or a shout from the bench) for those patiently waiting for their turn.
Remember, as much as we joke about it, hockey is a team game. Even if sometimes that team is mostly watching one player from the bench, shaking their heads, and laughing.
And hey, if you’re looking for gear that’ll make those marathon shifts feel a little breezier, check out Skull and Bones Hockey. From the snazzy “Rebellious Rink Raider Tee” to other gear that’s both stylish and breathable, you’ll be set for those moments when you accidentally (or not) overstay your welcome on the ice.
So, here’s to the shift-stealers of beer league. We might roll our eyes at you, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, someone has to provide the bench entertainment! Cheers! 🍻
